Angry Nigerian’s Top 5 Road Users Uniformed Nightmares

Hey guys, yup it’s me again. The adorable, sexy, handsome, cute, successful, intelligent, unstoppable and yes you guessed it, immensely angry Nigerian. *sniff* *sniff* * my hater sense is tingling*.

My people (Osuofia's voice), hmmmm. Quick question yeah!!!? Do you drive? Are you a motorist? Do you man (or woman...dumb pun of a b***h) the wheel of any metal beast? Manoeuvring that powerful beast through the intricate network of death traps our Nigerian government calls roads? Hmmm, Nigerian death traps???

If you do, then you know that there are forces working round the clock to hinder you from reaching your destinations safe, sound and happy. Typical examples, danfo drivers, mental okada riders, die-hard keke riders, witches and wizards and of course traffic.

None of these can compare to fury hell hath unleashed like the human beings that patrol these roads. You don’t know them? I don’t blame you, they are in disguise. Camouflaged to resemble the sane, diligent, respectable men in uniform that ought to facilitate our commute on these roads.

If you don’t already know the hoodlums in uniform that I am referring to, allow me to intimate you. Every single armed or unarmed force at a governmental or state level that was instituted to serve and protect road users. Instead, they extort, punish, beat up and in some kill the very people they were recruited to protect…..*shame*

Dear road user, you know I know you know who I am referring to. However, I am not here to put them on blast. Oh I will though, just not yet. Instead, I have compiled a ranking, a call it “Angry Nigerian’s Top 5 Road Users Uniformed Nightmares".

Continue to see my chart…..

The Man who Lives in His car.....

Hey guys,

Whoa!!! How long has it been since my last post? Seems like forever...hehe!!! Before I continue I Just wanna say, the only way you know you are doing something right is when you have critics (critics, lol...makes me sound like the british prime minister.......HATAZ, HATERS). Hmmm, haters??? hmmm......seems like there is a topic in there somewhere... I will get back to that later. Don't wanna deviate. So, I wanna ask, Has anyone ever seen this ..

Yes, I lmfao-ed when i saw it too. Its very interesting, sad but also unequivocally true (sorry for that super grammar, someone accused me of not behaving like I have an MBA....Stupid hater) where was I? Oh yes, the destiny stealing traffic in lagos. What is that about sef? I don't even know. I am not gonna go rambling about the incurable traffic situation in lagos yet though. But i was feeling abit inspired by the pix above that i decided to get poetic. The haters say "huh??"... Yes, Haters!! POETIC.... Read my poem, If you dare...after the cut.... Winks* *laffs evilly* * evilly is not a word dummy.

Work, Money and Everything in between.

Hi again, hw long hs it bin? W@? 5months? did any1 miss me @ all? No1 even asked of me??? Mscheww. . . Fake a** pple. Don't even know why I bothered to come here and say "Hi" sef... its not like anybody takes out time to read this meaningful crap....Mschewwwwwww........That of course, is by the way side. Truly there is only one reason why I came here. and guess what?? Its not to impress you, Its just to let you know that....I am angry  (Duh, the name of the blog is ANGRY nigerian). Anyway, wanna find out y am so angry...Stick around!!!

A tale of Nyanya: Lovers Torn Apart

The alarm on his smartphone went off, "ring ring ring". Joel was instantly jolted back to reality from his slumber. He picked up the phone to check what time it was "Hmm, 5 am already", he muttered to himself. "Wow, Monday already", he thought as he sat up on the king-sized bed. He let out a yawn before turning to view the figure lying next to him on the bed in a short, silk night gown. It was his wife, Rita. Rita lay next to him motionless, He thought to himself "this woman sef, the alarm didn't wake her up? Abi, she is just forming?", he pondered. He stared at her motionless figure, top then to bottom, his eyes met with her behind. "Ah" he reminisced..."that ass though" he thought as he ogled...Her voluptuous backside was starring him in the face. He let out a knowing grin. Oh, How he loved that booty. Unfortunately, there wasn't going to be any naughty play in the sack this morning. He and Rita had been in an argument the night before and she'd turned her back to him ever since. No kiss goodnight, No late night laughter nor smiles before bed, Not even the usual cuddles. Nothing but this cold shoulder he was being given. Maybe she would let him tap that ass when he gets home with the bunch of flowers and chocolates he was planning to buy her on his way home from work in the evening. Either that or suya from that Mai-Suya she loves so much. That would do the trick. As his thoughts lingered, his grin and the bulge in his boxers grew in size. He stood up from the bed, and went to prepare for work.

Drug Addiction

Guess who's baaaaackk.......ME!!! Buhahahahaha. You know, recently I have been asking myself. "Nnamdi, why do you always have to start your blog entries in some strange and satirical manneer." (kuhuhuhu, #Supu!). And I reply myself with the proverbial gesture of utmost IDK-ishness ¯\(°_o)/¯. 
I am also hoping at this point some of you won't be making assumptions that I actually have regular conversations with myself. Cos if you did, you would be absolutely correct, lol. I do. And I'd like to think other people do too. Yes? Another thing I think people like to do alot is....#drumrollplease. yes, you guess it, take drugs (common bro. it should have been obvious by now I was going to start talking about drugs sooner or later). Funny thing is, i aint even talking about the kind that bus conductors take that makes them forget you have actually given them money and they start asking you with their thick, croaky, and overtly-yoruba accented voices "Oga, Owo mi da". And you give him the "What have you been smoking?" "Are f*@king kidding me" "Abi you don dey madt" look in reply. Or Am I??? Hmmm, read more. I dare you weak spirit to find out.

My Thoughts on Random stuff

Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo.....What what what what what!!!! uh huh,  Uh huh.......(rapper voice)

what happening people. Lemme just say, that i am a little less angry today, why???? Its my Birthday.... *Big Grin* (For real, no april fool), even though i know most of  you don't give a rats _ _ _ (fill in the blank spaces here), just thought i should put it out there.Phew!! Now thats over and done with, Oya back to the matter #wizkid'svoice. There is this story i read on the most popular blogspot in Nigeria (if you don't know it, then....i apologise, i cannot help you) Homeless Mom Jailed for leaving Kids in Car. And we were asked after a heart wrenching story of what our thoughts on the matter were. Wanna know what an angry nigerian thinks about the situation???? Continue Reading, I dare you......

Is Love the Answer???

All right Ladies and Germs....this angry muther (murder, mother, mudda....pick anyone u like) fucker is back and is back angrier than ever. So stand back its venting time.Where do I begin? Yea I fucking asked the question, is love the answer? Many of you are going to be wondering, "answer to what?". well, EVERYTHING.

Ver. 2014 bigger better and of course ANGRIER

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL

Hey Hey Hey y'all............The new year has come around again. And of guess what, >>>>>>>>>>>

LOL!!!!!

But its true tho, some times I wonder....why does it have to take a WHOLE year for people to take serious decisions about their lives, about their jobs, about their relationships or about their families. *scratching head in wonderment*, #shrugging and saying "ah, well!"

But that's just by the way, whether or not you have a new years resolution (yes, there are people that have NO resolutions whatsoever) i think we just have to appreciative of the fact that we managed to see another new year.

Lets recap last year, there are a lot of things i have to be thankful for (yep, angry Nigerians are thankful too u know lol). For instance, graduated uni (barely), Got a job (that i hate-love), Dated a super model *wink* (aah, see haters hissing....She dumped me, hope ur happy! lol) and started this sorry excuse for a blog (like all the other linda ikeji wanabe's on planet DESPERATE). That's just a few. there is countless more. And am sure you, who has nothing else to do on the whole entire internet than read this angry writing, has something to be thankful for as well. IF nothing, at least you are live, breathe, eat and shit.

Now lemme get serious, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah. Sorry, i am usually overcome with a vicious case of sporadic laughter when i use "me" and "serious" in the same sentence. Ok ok ok ok, where was i? ah yes, seriously. Last years gone. Its never coming back, its gone. People died, People lost money, people lost their homes and all other sad things. Happy things also happened too. But the fact is, that was all 2013. and its gone for good never to return.

its 2014 now, everything is new. new challenges, new goals, new styles, new jobs. . . everything is new. therefore, we need a new approach to doing things. We need new ginger. Terry gee levels of ginger will go a long way in helping us achieve our "so called" resolutions. Resolutions of course are great, but i think Yearly resolutions are lame. 

Break down the scale, perhaps to something more manageable. For instance, My new years resolution is to have daily resolutions. that way, i can better manage my expections, my fortunes, my experiences, my successes and failures (or like other people like to call it, "learning experiences").

Thats all i got for now, before this carlo rossi begins to kick in, have a lovely new year. May the grace of God that exceeds all grant u admission into Google mail so that you can comment, like and share my blog page. May Facebook continue to save my details on ur profile so that when i share it with you, you have no choice but to share with somebody else. success, favor, blessing, grace, mercy and all the other things of God that coincide with names of hot chicks chase you, catch you and beat the living day light out of you daily till u die. AMEN.....#angry Nigerian #hate or love #OYO